Find the Right People

“If you’re struggling and your people are just watching you struggle…they’re not your people.” –Unknown

The quote says it all. If people are watching us struggle, then why do we even allow them to still be in our lives? What do they do for us? Not much. More often than not we’re told to get “thicker skin” or “grow a pair,” but this is a much larger issue than simply finding the need to get tougher.

The real issue is that people are constantly ignoring us when we’re clearly having a difficult time. It is during times of trouble that we need other people more than anything. There are people who watch us struggle (or don’t even watch at all) and there are those that are there for us, ready to be supportive.

I’ve found that the watchers group continues to grow with time, while the supporters usually has a growth problem. I guess I’d rather have a couple of people who I know I can count on than a bunch of people who are eventually going to forget about me and watch me struggle or disappear.

It’s okay to struggle. Why is it frowned upon when we have moments of weakness? That’s how we gain strength – we use our weaknesses to strive for something better. We’re going to fall, we’re going to feel sad, we’re going to have bad days – I’ve said these things countless times – and that’s fine. We can’t be stuck at the top in happy land all the time because we live in a world where people are constantly trying to bring us down. It’s also humbling knowing we have to experience both sides of the spectrum to find a balance.

So next time I find myself up on stage with the watchers in front of me, I’m going to walk off and stay with my supporters. No one is allowed to watch me struggle and call themselves my friend. If people want to be our lives, then they shouldn’t be passive passerby’s. Let’s make a promise to find the right people and be the right people.

*Image: Thomas Kinkade painting taken at Disneyland Resort in California

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