Creating Healthy Relationships

“A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams, or your dignity.” – Mandy Hale

SANE Boutique

I’ve learned that life is all about creating healthy relationships. Whether they are with other people or things, they play a key role in our happiness. Recently, I gained some insight into the future I want to build for myself based on some of my relationships. It has been the actions of others – or lack thereof…#alltalk – that have given me a greater sense of awareness about the types of toxic and unhealthy relationships I need to rework in my life. 

It can be difficult to step away from something harmful, especially when we don’t realize where the source of pain is coming from. I’ve personally been having some issues with relationships that I thought were based on friendship, but I’m starting to realize that’s not the case anymore.

When I say “relationships,” I’m not talking about dating. I’m talking about the people I communicate and connect with on a regular basis. Our communication has made me realize that I need to establish some healthy boundaries before the relationship is ready for life support. Even people that I enjoy talking with and being around have made me question whether or not our interactions are healthy. When someone starts encouraging bad behavior or behaviors outside of my own norms that I don’t feel fit well with who I am, then my intuition raises a red flag and something needs to be addressed immediately.

Dealing with unhealthy relationships has taught me that it’s up to me, and no one else, to start making changes that lead me closer to a happy life. I can’t depend on another person to change, and I can’t ask someone to change to benefit my own life.

The reason I knew something needed to change in the first place was because I started to feel the exhaustion and stress take a toll on my body. I physically felt ill. I was lightheaded, but I also felt like my neck was supporting the weight of a bowling ball. I was hot and cold at the same time. My body felt fatigued, weak, and out of control…powerless. I immediately thought: I must be getting sick. Stress presents itself in physical ailments.

I noticed quickly that it wasn’t the common cold, as I immediately felt relief upon nurturing my health. Stress and unhealthy relationships robbed me of feeling like myself for about a week. After several days of feeling awful, I decided I needed to change something if I wanted to live a happier, healthier life.

I stopped taking on other’s burdens and I reworked the way I thought about certain relationships. My health is important, and I can’t let toxic things dominate my brain’s capacity. Is it fair that only 5-10% of me is left to give my friends and family? No. How do I move forward? Enhance the way I communicate and stop complaining about other people. They won’t change, but I can.

The great thing about being an imperfect human is that there is always room for growth. What are the things I can do to promote growth in my life? Focus on the things that matter most to me, pay attention to my health by making small changes everyday, and be more cognizant of how I communicate and how others communicate with me.

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